Shake and Bake: Candy Pizza

This is how sick and weird some people can be. A candy flavored pizza, how insanely AWESOME!!!!!! Just think of how many calories that bad boy contains? One slice of it and you'll surely get 17 shots of insulin or something. It's every child's dream and every diabetic persons nightmare. People who eat this probably gets super active then goes into a coma for a month or so.

Shake and Bake: Taco Pizza

TACO TOWN!!!!!!!!!! MEXICALI!!!! ERIC MORALES!!!! The Taco Pizza is an awesome creation, it's literally a pizza with just taco toppings. Salsa, ground beef, corn chips, lettuce, and whatever there is in a taco is just dumped on top of a pizza dough.

Shake and Bake: Anchovy Pizza

I smell something fishy! Fish in my pizza?! FOR SHAME! When I first heard of anchovies, and saw it in cartoons on TV where the characters don't like it, I thought to myself, maybe it's really bad. But when I got to try it, it felt like a school of dilis fish are dancing thriller in my mouth and doing high fives while at it. This pizza is just so good because it's made with caramelized onion and anchovies. So the sweetness of the caramelized onion battles it out with the saltyness of the anchovy. It gives my tongue an orgasmic seizure, because it can't decide on which taste it's going to side, the sweet one, or the salty one.

Shake and Bake: Garlic and Cheese Pizza

Simple yet brilliant! This very simple flavor of pizza is just something that you wouldn't get tired of eating. The Shakey's Garlic and Cheese flavored pizza is a very light, yet tasty dish. You just have to go to your neighbor's garden then secretly gather 10 garlic cloves, then get some cheese from the dairy farm down the road, then you're all set to go. Better be careful because if you get caught then you're gonna be meat lovers pizza ingredient!

Shake and Bake: Bacon Cheeseburger Pizza

Awesome blossom! This pizza is like a creation from Wendy's. It's like they said "hey let's grind the Bacon Mushroom Melt and make it into a pizza!" Yeah, I guess that's how this pizza was made, they just couldn't think of anything else to do with their products so they decided to experiment with it. And it worked!

Like all other pizzas, it's made with pizza dough, tomato sauce, mozarella cheese, but the toppings are burger like, it has ground beef and bacon bits. Awesome!

Shake and Bake: Barbecue Chicken Pizza

Charcoal + Fire + Grill + Chicken + Pizza + Backyard = One hell of a good pizza, that's what it is! Barbecue Chicken Pizza is a great flavor in which everyone can enjoy. It's made up of pizza dough, with tomato sauce, mozarella cheese, some garlic and onions, some basil I think, or something herb-like, then some chicken pieces, then drenched with barbecue sauce.

It feels like an American barbecue at a neighbors backyard on a Sunday afternoon in your mouth!

Shake and Bake: White Cheese Pizza

But if you're thinkin' about my baby, it don't matter if you're black or WHITE! teke te nen te nen AWW! Just like how Michael Jackson sang it, thank you MJ you're the best there is, may you rest in peace!

Michael Jackson said that it don't matter if you're black or white. But you see, he didn't give into consideration pizzas here. White pizzas are still the best! Not being racist or anything but, who would eat a black pizza, I mean, that thing is burnt, it's like eating charcoal mehn!

I think when Michael Jackson ate a white pizza, his skin suddenly said "hey this is awesome stuff, we should be like this!" So there, his skin turned white because it thought that it would be great to have a complexion like that of a white cheese pizza!

Shake and Bake: Four Cheese Pizza

Not 1, not 2, definitely not 3, but 4! Four cheese pizza is the best cheese pizza there is. I don't know why 4 is such a magic number, maybe because it's even, or maybe there's just something magical about it. One of the reasons why I think it's a magical number is that, the number 4 is used in a lot of cool things like the 4th of July, Fantastic 4, 4 rules in mathematics, 4 suits in a card game, 4 seasons in a year, 4 food groups, The Beatles had 4 members, 4 cardinal directions, 4 sides in a square, 4 members in a quartet, Magic Flakes has 4 crackers, and this pizza has 4 cheeses in it. I think if you exceed 4 it'll just destroy the flavor, or maybe something bad will happen like the world would explode or the waters would turn into blood or something. If you make it less than four then maybe it's just not right, it's weird and the taste it just not that good, it's like licking a rock and drinking a zesto that's been left under the sun for quite some time in a hot summer day.

Shake and Bake: Pepperoni Crunch Pizza

Shakey's Pepperoni Crunch is my favorite flavor of pizza there is existing in this universe. This flattened circle of dough topped with mozarella cheese, drenched in tomato sauce, placed with equal amounts of pepperoni slices on top, and then finished off with a shower of crisp potato shreds. It is then baked into perfection and placed in a well insulated box made out of carton. Then delivered to the respected residence where its presence is awaited by individuals who are in need of dire nutrition in order to satisfy their craving.

That is a good explanation of how great this pizza is. Try it and for sure, you would have the same description as I have.

Originally a young astronomer of the planet Zenn-La, Norrin Radd made a bargain with the cosmic entity Galactus, pledging to serve as his herald in order to save his home-world from destruction. Imbued in return with a tiny portion of Galactus' Power Cosmic, Radd acquired great powers and a new version of his original appearance. Galactus also created for Radd a surfboard-like craft — modeled after a childhood fantasy of his — on which he would travel at speeds beyond that of light. Known from then on as the Silver Surfer, Radd began to roam the cosmos searching for new planets for Galactus to consume. When his travels finally took him to Earth, the Surfer came face-to-face with the Fantastic Four, a team of powerful superheroes that helped him to rediscover his nobility of spirit. Betraying Galactus, the Surfer saved Earth but was punished in return by being exiled there.

Silver Surfer is one of the coolest superheroes or Marvel character there is. Silver Surfer has this surfboard in which he uses to travel all over the universe. With washboard abs and a body that shines like 30 inch chrome rims of a Cadillac Escalade, he goes around the universe destroying villains and getting lots of chicks and endorsement deals for Billabong and Quicksilver.

I saw this dude once when I went to Boracay. I was like, "Hey, you're the Silver Surfer right?". He was like, "Yeah dude, I am, how'd you know?". I said, "Uhh because you shine like aluminum foil and I have to wear sunglasses just to look at you. I guess you're not that smart huh?". Then he was all like, "Gnarley dude, awesome waves, yeah let's go surfing!" I was like, "Mmmm bbikinis!". He was all like "Oooh samer bbcations, in da bitches!"

So there, I was able to talk to that dude, he was quite awesome.

If You're Not Prepared To Do The Time, Then Don't Do The Crime: Wolverine

Wolverine is the most rugged, rabid, mean-ass animal that you've ever seen! Born James Howlett and commonly known as Logan, Wolverine is a mutant, possessing animal-keen senses, enhanced physical capabilities, retracting bone claws, and a healing power that allows him to quickly recover from virtually any wound, disease or toxin, also enabling him to live beyond a normal human lifespan. This healing ability enabled the super soldier program Weapon X to bond the near indestructible metal alloy adamantium to his skeleton and claws without killing him. Wolverine was typical of the many tough anti-authority anti-heroes that emerged in American popular culture after the Vietnam War; his willingness to use deadly force and his brooding nature became standard characteristics for comic book anti-heroes by the end of the 1980s.

This superhero does not wear any fancy stretchy latex suits with feathers sticking out of his temple. No, he just wears a tight fit grey shirt, with a brown leather jacket, some jeans, and some bad-ass boots, kinda like Michael Jackson's. Wolverine goes into a bar, totally hammered, and shouts "F*ck all you bitches!", then when everyone attacks him, he lets out his razor sharp gillette blades from his knuckles and shaves everyones beards off, so that he's the only one with a bad-ass beard, and everyone else looks like corporate pussies who just got out of a job interview. Everyone is like, dude, you got a bad-ass beard so, yeah, we're not gonna mess with you anymore.

Wolverine also has a business, a barber-shop down at 6th and 5th where he cuts everyones hair for a living. If one of his customers complain, he just slits their throats like Sweeney Todd, then makes meat pies out of them.

If You're Not Prepared To Do The Time, Then Don't Do The Crime: The Incredible Hulk

The Hulk is cast as the emotional and impulsive alter ego of the withdrawn and reserved physicist Dr. Bruce Banner. The Hulk appears shortly after Banner is accidentally exposed to the blast of a test detonation of a gamma bomb he invented. Subsequently, Banner will involuntarily transform into the Hulk, depicted as a giant, raging, humanoid monster, leading to extreme complications in Banner's life.

This Banner dude is just one ass-whooping monger. When he feels angry, terror, and grief, he just turns into this big green monster that tears everyone into shreds and just walks away like it was just something he does on a day to day basis.

I think Bruce Banner is a hip-hop gangsta because when he turns into the Hulk, he still has purple pants on. So I'm guessing he wears real baggy pants or sweatpants. Also it's color purple, so he's probably a pimp who goes around to bitchslap a lot of guys who goes in his way, most especially the POLICE, and the GOVERNMENT! So yeah, he's probably black or from African descent.